Whores Against Wars

FRANKFURT, AP --  Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Shakira and assorted othre skanky poptarts of the world have formed an alliance, Whores Against Wars, to show the world that they are against the Iraq conflict.

In a press conference held in Germany today, WAW spokeswoman Spears announced, "We thought it was time us blonde skanks got together and let Bush and Blair know that we're like, not happy with this war?"

"It's like, so bad," added Shakira in halting English. "I´d just conquered America and Asia with my unique brand of rump-shakin' pop, and now my plans to corner the Middle East market have been seriously thwarted."

* * * *

And then I woke up. Sometimes I dream in news articles. It must be that stupid journalism degree, it still haunts me. I woke up and wrote it down all ready to blog later. Then I told Rhi and we cackled for five minutes, then fell back asleep for another 5 hours. Jet lag, RAWK!

We sleepwalked our way through the Museum of Modern Art (I think) and almost got run over 37 times (not used to these people driving on the wrong side). Now back in Internet Cafe to reassure Mum we are alive. Off to Edinburgh on Friday. Woo!

| | Posted in Globetrotting | Comments (18)

 

Comments

Luke said:

Dang - jetlag sleep. That's the sort of thing that I'm missing. The sleep of the dead!

Remember this, though: KEEP LOOKING AT TRAFFIC THE OTHER WAY OR YOU MAY DIE!

You can ignore that after Friday, though.

Simon said:

hehehe! That's such a good dream. Reminds me of when those Spice Girls praised Princess Diana and Nelson Mandela, 'cause they stood for the same sorts of things that the Spice Girls stood for (supposedly).

Rory said:

Re: "You can ignore that after Friday, though."

Not so fast. This is Edinburgh, land of the one-way street, and the UK, where people park facing any old way. And you can't take your cue from other people either, because half of them are tourists from America or continental Europe.

Do they still have the sheep sculptures made out of old telephones in the Frankfurt modern art gallery?

mb said:

Anybody made fun of you for getting into the car on the wrong side yet? ;)

brix said:

That's the funniest thing I've read today. Thank you!

Get used to looking the wrong way. Or the right way. Either way, you'll compulsively look the opposite way that you're supposed to after a few months on foot in a strange country.

slack said:

So this is why you chose Edinburgh? SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK THE OTHER WAY FOR TRAFIC??? Well I think things are a little clearer now Imustsay...

mel said:

i am wondering what you take to have dreams like that? and can I have some? :P i haven't remembered a dream in years!

glad you are doing ok :)

andrewf said:

well, you made it to frankfurt - fun sort of place, isn't it! woohoo you and rhi! you'll have a ball and i'm looking forward to your blogging about all your adventures.

HCL/Kurt said:

ok...credit where credit is due...that opening paragraphs is one of the greatest things I've read in ages.

Missjenjen said:

Go Shauny!! You world traveller, you!

Monkey said:

Jealous, jealous....

Marissa said:

Just remember, even though they drive on the left, everyone in the UK stands to the right on escalators. This is especially important on the London Underground, where standing on the left can get you killed by people hurtling down very long, nearly vertical escalators at high speed to get to their train, even when another one will come along in a few minutes.

Texas T-bone said:

In America, we always look both ways before crossing the street – even when it's a one-way. You never know when you're neighbors been into his "herb garden" again!

Funny dream, too. Good to know I'm not the only one who's been ruined by a journalism degree.

Row said:

Yes, remember that Nigerian at the Sydney Olympics!

Do your dreams ever feature commercials?

ev said:

I loved the Museum of Modern Art in Frankfurt (I thought it was one of the only decent things in the city!). If you can, try to make it to this bar called the Balalaika on Dreikonigstrasse. The lady who runs the bar is formally from New York (I think) and sometimes she gets up and sings on the stage and she's got an amazing voice!

PS you have strange dreams indeed! I always forget my dreams!

ev said:

Oops...formerly...not formally. DOH!

sean said:

Hmmm.

Maybe they simply want to meet young. angry Marines.

paul said:

love your whole Whores Against Wars creation! that was like, so real, you know?

hope you're having a brilliant time in Edinburgh... any chance of visiting your fans in old London town?

keep on keeping on girl!

paul xx

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Whores Against Wars was published on March 27, 2003.

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